Upside-down Sky
These tiny flowers growing up wild. Beautiful weeds. How long will their colors dot the ditches and fields here? I'm thankful for them today, and for my feet to carry me down the fast, fast road near the quiet, sun-filled house where I am thankful to be staying these few days. Thankful for the screened in porch, for country roads. The fresh tomatoes, the song birds, trees newly bursting with green, the hawks seemingly suspended under an impossible sky, then swooping gently over the sloping lawn to nab a worm, a squirrel, thankful, even, for the bird scat that fell into my lap as another one of those predators swooped overhead.
The idea of leaving Brooklyn for the first time since late March was one we eased into slowly. And as we navigated our way out of the city, I was shocked by the amount of activity in the street, the (mostly-masked) people seeming eager to get back to life. There was something in that journey that made me think, we can do this, we can function again, we can find ways to trust the world and each other, to feel safe in each other's embrace. Being set free on that gorgeous day, I felt sad to leave Brooklyn, the site of so much pain and joy, but I needed a break. I knew I would be coming back.
George Floyd was murdered on Monday; peaceful protests began on Tuesday... Sunday now and the news I've seen and social media I've scrolled show a world, again, turned on its head. It's as if the pandemic slowed us down, filled us up with its uncertainty, and then someone shook a big bottle and mixed us all up with and let it go... all over everything.
From this side of the tv it's all very loud and awful and hard to fathom, an incomprehensible narrative of yelling reporters, of masks and uniforms and raised fists and broken glass and flame, seas of bodies across streets and bridges, satellite feeds from everywhere, converging here, on this screen...but of course it is happening, needs to happen, should happen. My heart slows and I find my breath as I turn the tv off, get close to the flowers, think, George Floyd, drown in the upside-down sky, George Floyd...